Chapter Eleven - Remember (Maya)

The room was quiet. A new romcom played on the TV, though Maya had the volume low to not wake the kids. Her eyes scanned the subtitles as she threw another handful of chips into her mouth, chewing slowly. She leaned forward over her knees, anticipation rising as the tension in the scene escalated to a boiling point.

It had been so damn long since she’d had a non-self-induced orgasm. What she would give to have a man’s hands exploring her like that. His tongue on her skin. His hands on her body. His—

A knock on the front door sent Maya scrambling for the remote, pressing every button in the vicinity of power until the screen turned black. Then she sat back, gulping down air and fanning her cheeks in an effort to cool down as she peeked over the back of the couch toward the solid front door.

She checked her phone — no notifications. It was ten-thirty at night, who would be knocking on her door that late?

She stood and crept down the hall, peeking through the hall window and then drawing back quickly once she caught sight of Maverick on her porch. She blinked, feeling like a bucket of ice water had been dumped over her head. Well… that cooled her down.

She was right on the verge of walking away and turning in for the night, when she heard his voice, barely more than a whisper through the oak. “I know you’re there. Can we talk?”

He wanted to talk? Now? The indignation of the request lit something fierce inside Maya and the door was swinging open before she’d even realized she’d moved.

“What could we possibly have to talk about?” She snapped. “How you’ve terrorized me? How you tried to get me fired? Or turn my boss against me? How you accused me of poisoning my son?” Maya stepped onto the porch, pulling the door shut behind her and advancing as Maverick retreated, poking a hole into his chest as the anger grew, hotter and hotter, until her vision was tinted red. “How dare you? You don’t know me anymore. We were kids when everything fell apart. I know I messed up, Maverick, but I’ve paid for it, every day of my life. For ten fucking years. When will it be enough for you? When will you just let me be? When—“

“I wanted to apologize,” Maverick interrupted, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he held his hands up by his shoulders.

The words caught Maya off guard, stealing her voice, and she hesitated, her finger falling an inch in the space between them. “You—“

“Yes,” he nodded quickly. “I was out of line in the hospital. And— and before that.” Their eyes clashed, years of history and questions hanging between them. Then he turned away and sat on the top step, his forearms landing on his knees.

Maya didn’t move, she simply stood and stared at the back of his head. He was so tall, even when sitting. She didn’t say a word, but she didn’t need to.

“I’ve had so many people tell me that I should hear you out, but I didn’t want to because I was still so angry. The anger got me through it all, back then, and I— well, I wasn’t ready to let that go. But then—“ He paused, glancing over his shoulder at where she still stood, watching with wary eyes. “I ran across your boys outside yesterday and they made me realize that I didn’t know half as much as I thought I did. And I thought maybe if I just listened for a minute, then maybe we can both just move on and live our lives.”

“I don’t owe you anything,” Maya seethed. “Not anymore.”

“No, but I think I owe it to you to listen,” he said. “If you want to tell me.”

“What is there to tell?” She huffed a caustic laugh, turning to pace across the porch while Maverick tracked her movement with his eyes. “You were there for it all. You saw the footage. You got your test. The past speaks for itself. I never once blamed you for your anger.”

“But why—“

“I don’t know why,” she breathed, pulling to a stop at his side and crossing her arms as she stared out into the darkened street. “I don’t remember.”

Those three words felt bitter on her tongue. She’s said that same phrase so many times back then, and as if they’d rehearsed it — he’d always responded with the same four words. I don’t believe that.

This time, however, he changed the script. “No, I wasn’t asking about the… cheating. I just don’t understand why you pushed the baby so hard. You actually made me believe— and, well, I just want to know why you would do that. Was it all just a game or did you ever truly think...” He released a frustrated breath, seeming unable to voice the question he needed to ask.

Maya chewed her lip. She was grateful for the dark, so Maverick couldn’t see the embarrassment darkening her cheeks as she answered, “You can believe what you want, but it was never a game for me. I know that you and I always used condoms… but when I woke up in his bed that morning, I wasn’t entirely certain what had happened.”

“What?” He turned fully on his seat, his dark eyes searing as his voice turned to steel. “What does that mean?”

“It just means that I wasn’t sure if we went all the way. He said we did, and well…” Maya glanced around for witnesses as she lowered her voice. “I was naked. There was the footage from the banquet. It wasn’t hard to piece it together.”

He sat forward, his brows a fierce line, pulled low over his eyes. “Maya— what do you remember?”

She blinked, thinking back on the night. She’d tried a thousand times to remember that night. To figure out why she would’ve done something so horrible to someone she loved. “I remember fighting with my parents. Having some tea at the house. With mom. Then I ordered a drink at the banquet and…” She closed her eyes, trying to remember, but everything after that point was just flashes of light and voices that made no sense. After so many years of trying, she’d given up on ever knowing what truly happened that night.

“And?” Maverick prompted.

“And I pieced the rest together the next day. Like I said, it was pretty obvious given all the evidence.” She shrugged, turning to meet his eyes directly. “It was a drunken mistake, but you deserved somebody who was loyal, even while drunk. I should have never put the idea in your head about Toby. I wanted him to be yours. But it was never a game. Not to me. It was just… desperation.”

He stood suddenly, tunneling his hands through his hair. “You truly don’t remember any of it? Not even the kiss?”

Maya looked away, shaking her head, then jerked her eyes back at the angry noise Maverick released. He was back to looking furious, the calm man she used to know evaporating in an instant. She sighed and turned back toward the door.

“Look, I’m sorry I can’t give you more information. I’ve told you over and over that I don’t remember what happened. But hopefully this gave you some of the closure you were looking for, and we can all live a little more peacefully. I’ll talk to my boys about leaving you alone, alright?”

“Maya, that’s not—“ He started, but the words were cut off by the door clicking shut behind her. She stood for a long while in the front hall, thinking back through the encounter and wondering what her boys must’ve said to bring on all the questions… and why, all of a sudden, he’d started calling her Maya again.