Chapter Eight - On Purpose (Maya)

CW: This scene features a severe allergic reaction

The snap of Toby’s textbook slamming shut cut through April’s squealing and Gus’s laughter with an efficiency Maya had still yet to master. The room fell silent as all eyes turned to the ten year old who stood from his chair at the table, and pointed a firm finger towards the hall. “Play in your rooms,” he snapped.

Maya blinked, surprised by the gruffness from a kid who was typically the epitome of well-behaved — who’d once spent half an hour stacking cheerios on his own forehead just to make his sister giggle. He’d been withdrawn and grumpy all afternoon, and she’d written it off as typical pre-teen attitude… but this was different.

April’s head hung forward, her chin quivering, while Gus pulled his thin frame taller, puffing his chest out. “You can’t tell us what to do.”

“Can too. I’m the oldest.”

“So what?”

“So that means you have to listen to me.”

“Does not!”

“Does to!”

“Does not times infinity.”

“That’s not a thing.”

“You’re not a thing.”

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“You don’t make sense.”

“Argh,” Toby growled, lunging forward after Gus who cackled as he fled down the hall.

April glanced back at Toby, her brows scrunched together as she said, “You’re mean,” before she too turned and ran through the door, chasing after Gus.

Toby kicked a foot against the kitchen tile and turned on the spot, stomping back to the table and falling forward in his seat, his head landing in his hands as he stared down at the textbook before him. He scratched at his neck as he read, mumbling the words to himself.

Maya approached, settling into the seat opposite him. She watched for a moment as he read, noting how flustered he seemed. He was fidgeting, scratching at his head, then his forearm, then his chest, before tapping a pencil against the table top. The beat was erratic. His eyes returned to the top of the page once, twice, then a third time, seeming unable to focus long enough to absorb the information.

“Toby,” Maya began. He didn’t look up, but the fidgeting paused and his eyes stopped mid-page. “That wasn’t like you.”

“I know, I just— I have to focus.”

“I understand, but it still doesn’t mean you can snap at them like that,” she continued, watching as he pressed a hand to his red neck. She paused, noticing the splotches at his collar and on his cheeks. “Maybe we should try having you study in my room so you have more priv— Toby?”

He blinked slowly, his eyes glassy as he looked up at her. “I know,” he repeated, his words beginning to slur. “I’ll apall— apolloh—“

“AUGUST,” Maya yelled as she lunged forward to catch Toby when he slumped sideways from his seat. Gus came careening around the corner at the sound of his legal name — taking in the scene with wide, horrified eyes. “Go get Jeden,” Maya barked, bending an ear down to Toby’s chest, short-lived relief flooding her when she heard the steady pounding of his heart and felt the rise of his chest. His breaths were shallow, but they were there. The she jerked his shirt up and her stomach dropped at the sight of hives covering his chest.

She had to think. She had to stay calm. She had just requested a refill on his EpiPens, but she hadn’t picked them up yet. She still had his previous set, though they’d expired the prior month. They were always expiring so fast. Why did she not get it filled? The old ones, where did she leave them? There was the one she kept in her purse, but that was in the car and the keys were in her room — but the other spare, she used to keep it in the kitchen in the old house. She’d not unpacked it in the move — so where was it? She started to turn for her keys, but then a flash of memory flared, a momentary sighting of the familiar green casing at the bottom of the tote she’d shoved into the hall closet.

“Mommy?” April’s voice sounded tiny in the doorway, but Maya didn’t have time to stop as she sprinted for the closet, ripping it open and dumping the disorganized baskets into the floor as quickly as she was able. She dropped to her knees, sifting through the mess until she found the pen and stood, fumbling to remove the casing as she stumbled back into the kitchen.

The front door banged open and the welcome sound of Jeden’s voice carried down the hall, reciting their address to what was hopefully an ambulance. But it was Drew who reached the pair first — just as Maya activated the EpiPen straight through Toby’s pants leg. Drew pulled the phone from his ear, stabbing the speaker button.

“What’s happening?” The familiar voice of Jeden’s sister, Drie, demanded. Maya wasn’t sure what field Drie typically worked in, but she knew the woman was an RN, and she’d take any help she could get.

“He started itching and passed out, he’s got hives and his breathing’s not right. I should’ve known. I knew what to look for and I didn’t even consider it. I didn’t even think to check—“

“Focus Maya. Does he have an EpiPen?”

“I already used it, but it expired recently, I don’t know if it’s safe—“

“It’ll work. How’s his breathing?”

Maya’s hand had been flat against Toby’s chest since she’d returned to his side but she hadn’t noticed the change until Drie’s words registered. “It’s better,” she breathed. “A little deeper.”

“That’s really good. Do you have another EpiPen?”

“Is he not improving fast enough?” Maya scanned his body, searching for any signs of the situation worsening.

“No, but you should be ready. Anaphylaxis can come in waves. You can administer another if needed. So keep it on standby in case the ambulance isn’t there yet.”

Maya looked up, noticing it was just her and Drew in the room. She blinked, glancing around for Gus and April, but Drew was quick to answer the unspoken question, “Jeden took them back to the house. Where is the other Epi?”

“In my purse, in the car. My keys are on my dresser down the hall.”

Drew nodded and then pushed to his feet, running off in the direction she’d pointed.

Her eyes fell back to Toby. Some of the color was returning to his lips, but she didn’t trust it. Not after Drie’s words. Not after seeing how quickly and suddenly he’d been hit.

“What do I do? How can I help him?”

“Pull a chair up and use it to elevate his legs, keep the blood flowing to his heart. You’re doing great, hun. Do you know CPR?”

“I do—“ Maya choked, swallowing against the lump in her throat, unable to continue. She’d taken refresher courses every two years, but the idea of using it on her own kid— she couldn’t fathom the idea, even when faced with the reality of it. She gave Toby’s hand a squeeze and felt a piece of herself wither away when his fingers remained limp and clammy within her own.

“Good. Hopefully you won’t need it, but that’s good, Maya. Keep your head clear.”

The minutes passed slowly, entire decades creeping past in the span of seconds as they waited. Drew returned, EpiPen in one hand and keys in the other, but Toby still didn’t move. They kneeled quietly, side by side, counting breaths.

Then the sound of sirens reached her ears and a desperate sob escaped.

“Fucking finally,” Drew mumbled, his eyes still locked on Toby’s chest.

Maya moved, lifting Toby from the floor and hurrying down the hall. She was on the sidewalk when the ambulance pulled to a stop, and then the paramedics were there, taking Toby and laying him on a stretcher. They were talking fast, faster than she could follow as they ushered her into the back of the vehicle.

“Oxygen is too low— ”

“—something he ate?”

“High flow—“

“Epinephrine on standby…”

She took a seat in the corner, bracing her arm against the wall when the ambulance lurched back into motion, the sirens all she could hear.

“—his weight?”

Maya blinked, the words cutting through the ringing in her ears when the young paramedic dropped a hand on her shoulder, leaning down to meet her eyes. “What’s his weight?”

“Ni—ninety.” She cleared her throat. “Ninety-two pounds at his last checkup.”

He squeezed once and turned away, barking orders.

“Fluids and diphenhydramine and—”

Maya tried to follow it at first, but then motion caught her eyes and she turned, watching, then gasping, when Toby’s foot jerked. She stood, but the paramedic waved her back down. “You need to stay seated.”

“But he’s waking up, he needs—“

“He needs us to keep working. Please stay seated.”

Maya nodded, but as soon as the man turned away, she scooted to the edge of her seat, stretching her hand forward and wrapping it gently around his leg. He had no way of knowing it was her, he may not even register the touch, but she felt the muscles relax beneath her palm, the movements calming as she stroked his ankle.

“Three minutes out,” a voice called from the front.

She wasn’t sure the paramedics even heard, with how caught up they were in a discussion about whether or not to administer a dose of albuterol.

She just held on. She kept her grip as they pulled his stretcher down from the vehicle and ran along beside him as they wheeled him to a room. And she continued lingering by his foot, quiet and watchful, as the doctors rushed around her son in a flurry — running tests, taking notes, administering more drugs.

She felt like she was floating. Watching it all happen from an external point of view. Life as she knew it boiled down to nothing more than the pulse of life thrumming beneath her fingers and the monitor above, tracking his oxygen. It wasn’t until a nurse laid a hand upon her shoulder after the activity had settled that she even realized she still had a physical presence in the room.

“Hey there, I’ll be the night nurse for October.” The deep voice soothed her immediately, pulling her back into the present, a lullaby to her frayed nerves. “Would you like to sit?”

“Toby—“ She coughed to clear her throat. “He goes by Toby. Can I put a chair beside the bed?”

The man didn’t answer. His hand stiffened and slipped away and then he stepped around her body to look at her face. “Maria?”

Maya blinked. Maverick was their nurse?

He crossed his arms over his thick chest, all pretenses of grace melting away into a cynical scowl. “Did you do this on purpose?”

“What?”

Maverick rolled his eyes. “You expect me to believe that you just miraculously ended up in my ward? You going to give me the same fate spill again?” He tilted his head toward Toby, suspicion heavy in his glare. “What did you give him?”

Maya’s mouth gaped, unable to process the meaning of what he was suggesting. The idea that she could ever harm her own child in such a way. She grappled for some clarity to respond in a coherent way — but as it turned out, she didn’t need to.

“A friend gave me some trail mix on the bus. I told him about the cashews, but he said it was safe.” Toby wheezed, drawing both of their eyes. Maya gasped and rushed around the bed. She grasped his hand tightly and reveled in the feeling of his fingers gripping her back. Though his eyes never left Maverick, who paled slightly in the face of Toby’s anger. “I knew better. Mom had nothing to do with it.”

Maverick glanced between the two of them and then he was retreating, backing up on the spot and turning for the hall. He paused, a hand wrapped tightly around the handle. “I’ll send another nurse in,” he finally stated before pushing through and leaving them to the quiet.

It struck her as odd, for a moment — how bothered Maverick appeared, and the speed in which he left. But once Toby’s warm brown eyes turned to Maya once more, she couldn’t have cared less in that moment what Maverick had to say about the situation. The sky itself could’ve fallen down upon them and Maya’s smile wouldn’t have faltered for a second.